It’s no secret that every gym has its fair share of bro’s in it. I workout in a big commercial gym with plenty of bro’s and while I’d like to find a gym with a better atmosphere, this one is close to home and has a few other amenities that our family likes.
However, on a daily basis I have to sidestep the bro’s in order to get in a lift. I must say though I do get to laugh occasionally at some of the asinine shit they do. So I dedicate today’s article to the bro’s in the gym and leave you with 10 bro tips that will make you more hardcore.
Bro Tip #1
Be sure and carry around a one gallon jug of water, this is so you can look mega cool and get an extra arm pump when you take a drink.
Real Tip #1
In actuality leave the on gallon jug at home, those are reserved for storing your milk in your fridge.
Bro Tip #2
Make sure to add some sort of fluorescent supplement to the one gallon jug from #1.
Real Tip #2
More than likely you don’t need an intra-workout supplement so cool out and wait until you get home to take your supplements like normal people .
Bro Tip #3
Before you go to the gym be sure and douse yourself with a metric shit ton of axe body spray and/or highly aromatic cologne.
Real Tip #3
Leave the colognes for when your out picking up the ladies or twerking it at the club, but don’t assault someone’s nostrils when they’ve got a few hundred pounds on their back.
Bro Tip #4
Come up with a lame ass line like “hey you need a spot” in order to chat up some gym bunny.
Real Tip #4
If you really feel the need to bother a lady during her workout, ask her if you can buy her a cup of coffee after she’s done and leave it at that, and be sure and apologize for interrupting her workout. You’ll likely get much further.
Bro Tip #5
Be sure and load the weight up on exercises like the bench press to show off your manliness.
Real Tip #5
If the weight staples you to the bench if you take the bar all the way to your chest it’s too heavy. Hang up your ego and take some pounds off and try again.
Bro Tip #6
Get the largest gym bag you can and stuff it with all manner of lifting equipment, it doesn’t matter that you’re doing pull-ups today you still might need your belt.
Real Tip # 6
There is a place called the locker room, and there are lockers in there that you can store your crap in, use one.
Bro Tip #7
Curl in the squat rack as often as possible.
Real Tip #7
As much mileage as this broism has seen on the internet I still see people do this, please just stop.
Bro Tip #8
Stand right next to the dumbbell rack so you can stare at your beautiful biceps while you’re curling, seriously bro rules state you should curl at least 3 times a week.
Real Tip #8
If the weights are that heavy that you can’t take a few steps away from the dumbbell rack, then you probably shouldn’t be using them in the first place.
Bro Tip #9
Also be sure and leave all the plates on the bars on the deadlift platform and the squat rack.
Real Tip #9
Have some courtesy and strip your weights, completely.
Bro Tip #10
Don’t bother wiping up if you use a mat or a bench, people really don’t mind you’re sweat since your so good looking and all.
Real Tip #10
If you wouldn’t leave a filthy sweat stain on your own couch what makes you think it’s ok to do it in the gym, get a rag and wipe up.
These are only a few of the things I see in a given week, but like I said it does make for good fodder. Tag someone on Facebook with this article and let them know how bro-ey they are.
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